Bonobo go in snow

Consonant reader,

I'm off now for a few days, up to Worcester, then down to a village outside Milton Keynes where the girl's parents live. Yes I'm spending xmas with the outlaws, should be good. At least it'll be warmer than my flat at the moment...

Anyway, to everyone, have a very merry xmas, and I'll see you all soon no doubt with no stories to tell before the new year...

Peace out, presents opened etc.

B x.

Feeling the cold!

Consonant Reader,

Well, I got over my deadly flu. It turns out it wasn't that deadly at all, hence me writing this blog now. But I was in agony for a couple of days, and don't wish it on anyone.

Finished school on Friday, so have been taking it nice and steady so far. Been to see a few friends and family at the weekend, only to come back to Gloucester to find our boiler has packed up. The pipes have began leaking and the boiler just isn't working, so its freezing everywhere. Last night I slept with two socks on and three layers on top, my girlfriend slept with a beanie on to keep her head warm. Brr.

Anyway, christmas is coming if you hadn't noticed, so you're all going to get a little treat. I e-mailed Pencil (RIP) last year with this poem which he published on his now defunct blog. This year I'll just publish it on this here blog. Not original at all, but I love the poem, and if you havn't read it before, enjoy.

Its called 'Nicholas Was' by Neil Gaiman and I hope I've got permission to show this (Probably not but the respect is there!).

Keep warm, eat, drink and be Mary.

Nicholas Was…


Older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the Artic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.

Once a year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves’ invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen in time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.

Ho.
Ho.
Ho.

B x.

See what condition my condition is in..

Consonant reader,

I shiver and ache, from my head to my toes and all thats inbetween. The slightest movement is a labour, I am ultra tender and sensitive to pretty much anything; even going to the toilet has become a test of nerve as it feels like I'm pissing razor blades.

The glands in my throat has swollen on one side to the point where its a pain to turn my head without affecting it. I cannot swallow without a blinding flash of hurt throughout my neck.

My appetite has completely disappeared. In the last 2 days I've had half a boiled egg, two soldiers and a vanilla yogurt. To add insult, my taste has flown south also making the said items seem more like rubber, wet cardboard and chilled mud respectively.

Because it really hurts when I swallow, and by that I mean, I know if I have to swallow or not, I've not been sleeping at all well. I keep waking up each time I swallow, which is just horrible. I don't think I've slept deep or dreamt since Thursday night. The weekendwas a complete non- starter.

My girlfriend has been looking after me even though she's a bit ill herself.

*sobs*

BUT! Dry your eyes mate! At least I'm getting it before christmas eh? Aint that grand? Should be fine for New Year too.. If you're ill, get well soon too, its a shit. My hint: get ill as soon as possible so that your in tip top shape for the 25th onwards..

*Leaps up and sings 'Happy days are here again', knocks over the Beechams powders with dressing gown to start dancing in a cabaret style on the kitchen table*

(Crumb: Yes, I know I just mentioned the word 'Glands'..)

B x.

Wish fulfillment

Consonant reader,

Saw Disney's Aladdin the other night and it got me thinking..

1) I wish I was slightly more better off.

2) I wish everyone was nicer to each other, especially around this time of year.

3) I wish it was a week and a bit later so school was over.. that would be ace.

Just three wishes.. thats all.

B x.